Essay – 1

read the attached essay and answer the following questions based off of the essay.

Is the introduction effective, that is, does it make you want to read on? If it is effective, state what makes it effective. If it is not an effective introduction, suggest what the writer might do to improve it. Could the writer use more details or tell a story? Should the writer find a more general connection or start with something more specific?
What is the thesis statement of this essay? Is it manageable? Is it focused? Is it strong? Does it give direction to the writer? Does it tell the reader what the essay is about?
Is this essay organized clearly? To make this judgment, carefully read each paragraph and determine what each paragraph is about. Point out any problems and suggest how they might be corrected.
Does the writer use effective topic sentences to begin each paragraph and develop that topic throughout the paragraph? If yes, give one good example. If not, provide the writer with a good example of the problem and suggest how the problem can be corrected.
Does the writer need more or better transitions to link the paragraphs? Quote from the essay to show where transitions are effective. And quote from the essay to show where the writer needs to use or change transitions.
Does the writer clearly follow the thesis of the essay? Explain. If not, point out places in the essay where the writer loses focus and suggest what the writer might do to get back on track.
Does the writer use sufficient details and examples? If so, tell where the writer has used detail effectively, quoting directly from the essay. If not, suggest where the writer could incorporate more details and examples.
Are there any words, phrases, or sentences that are not clear? Explain. If so, give the writer some examples.
Is the conclusion effective? If so, state why it is effective. Quote to show where the writer has succeeded in closing with a strong restatement of purpose. If not, suggest ways that the writer could improve the conclusion.
Now that you have read the essay carefully, does the title reflect the writer’s purpose? Does it grab your attention? Could it be improved? How?
List at least three strengths of this essay. Quote where you can to show the writer exactly where he or she succeeds.
Provide the writer with your overall impression of his/her essay.

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